There was a girl
I suppose, when you get right down to it, this story begins with one of the oldest cliches in the book:
"There was a girl"
But not just any girl. This girl...this combination of every perfect chemical composition catalyzed into a fascinating amalgamation of pure formulaic genius. This derivative of the female species that encapsulated the very essence of her gender: purity, beauty, strength...perfection. This girl that I knew even before knowing her, having drawn her portrait on a random A4 sheet of paper from the deepest inkwells of my heart years ago in high school.
In the years that followed I often wondered about that photo and how our destinies are shaped and molded in the grander design of the Almighty. How I had her with me, within the very core of my soul without ever having laid eyes on her. The outline and pose of that particular photo may have been from a magazine but the eyes...the face...the fall of her hair...was Her.
And when, years later, our paths finally crossed and our eyes met for the first time...well to say that I was hopelessly in love with her would be a grievous understatement. It wasn't just love - that sad term that has become the bane of soppy millennials in search of bad romance. THIS was more. More than attraction and those first fleeting glances that etched her image directly into my soul. More than polite smiles and trembling lips...more than that first touch as our fingers met as I leaned down to pick up the bag she had dropped. More than the sweetest words she spoke as our bond blossomed into more than just friendship. More than where we were or even why we were. More than the place, the people, the faces or the carefully orchestrated sequence of events that led to our meeting.
It's strange how life does that to you though. You trudge along with your grandiose thoughts about romance and love and then, when it's the least thing you would expect, all your preconceived notions of love are forgotten as destiny hurls you into a roller coaster ride of unexpected surprises.
In the years that followed I often wondered about that photo and how our destinies are shaped and molded in the grander design of the Almighty. How I had her with me, within the very core of my soul without ever having laid eyes on her. The outline and pose of that particular photo may have been from a magazine but the eyes...the face...the fall of her hair...was Her.
And when, years later, our paths finally crossed and our eyes met for the first time...well to say that I was hopelessly in love with her would be a grievous understatement. It wasn't just love - that sad term that has become the bane of soppy millennials in search of bad romance. THIS was more. More than attraction and those first fleeting glances that etched her image directly into my soul. More than polite smiles and trembling lips...more than that first touch as our fingers met as I leaned down to pick up the bag she had dropped. More than the sweetest words she spoke as our bond blossomed into more than just friendship. More than where we were or even why we were. More than the place, the people, the faces or the carefully orchestrated sequence of events that led to our meeting.
It's strange how life does that to you though. You trudge along with your grandiose thoughts about romance and love and then, when it's the least thing you would expect, all your preconceived notions of love are forgotten as destiny hurls you into a roller coaster ride of unexpected surprises.
Like the circumstances that led to us meeting: The weekend supermarket job that I reluctantly agreed to but, looking back now, I would have agreed to again and again and again. Because that's where and how I met Her. Ever wonder how it is that the smallest of decisions often play the biggest role in shaping our destiny? But then, I suppose, that's how it goes with our 'choices'.
"Can I have my change please?"
Funny thing those first words. Sure the context might have seemed normal given our surroundings but the deeper, more hidden meaning was unmistakable. Change. That's what I was waiting for. That was what I needed.
And the change that started with friendship grew as we sat on concrete steps amidst the red and brown leaves of those gray autumn skies as the Friday afternoons bustled by and the world drifted off into a perpetual weekend. But change is a capricious creature and not content with idling for too long.
Hidden glances, secret smiles...and soon friendship changed to attraction.
That first thrill of running my hands down her perfect hair in an excuse to remove a rogue dandelion that had grown overly fond of her. That quiet quiver as I held her hand for no apparent reason but to hold her hand and stare off into the world and the somewhat soothing repetitiveness of those afternoon tea breaks. The forced laughs at the cat-calling and winks from our fellow co-workers who had already reached the somewhat obvious conclusion before we had. The private smiles we exchanged as we 'played along' and fed into the facade of our unrequited love. The nervous fear that crept up the back of my neck as I finally found my courage to ask her out on an 'actual date'. The butterflies that erupted in a whoop of joy when she said 'yes' without even blinking.
The awkwardness of our first date - best friends, hopelessly in love and yet neither saying a word. The polite banter, the deep smiles...the gamble in the movies....the old 'arm trick' or not? That minute of panic of not being sure if I was doing the right thing...and that feeling of elation as she shifted her head and rested it on my shoulders and her eyes started up at me...bright and illuminated. And that moment. That perfect moment. That perfect kiss. And knowing that it was right but not knowing why...or where or when or how. Just the moment. The moment was all that that mattered.
"I love you," she said and that was it. It was the first time any girl had said that to me and it was perfect.
It's been 19 years since that first day and 14 years of being married to her, my best friend. Sometimes, especially when the cooler winds come and those gray autumn skies roll in, we still sit and hold hands and talk and listen and watch the world go by in shades of red and brown leaves.
And I'm thankful to the Almighty for bringing her into my life. And I'm grateful for my change. And I love her, a little more each day. Because she was 'the girl'. The only girl. And in the end, that was all that mattered.
"Can I have my change please?"
Funny thing those first words. Sure the context might have seemed normal given our surroundings but the deeper, more hidden meaning was unmistakable. Change. That's what I was waiting for. That was what I needed.
And the change that started with friendship grew as we sat on concrete steps amidst the red and brown leaves of those gray autumn skies as the Friday afternoons bustled by and the world drifted off into a perpetual weekend. But change is a capricious creature and not content with idling for too long.
Hidden glances, secret smiles...and soon friendship changed to attraction.
That first thrill of running my hands down her perfect hair in an excuse to remove a rogue dandelion that had grown overly fond of her. That quiet quiver as I held her hand for no apparent reason but to hold her hand and stare off into the world and the somewhat soothing repetitiveness of those afternoon tea breaks. The forced laughs at the cat-calling and winks from our fellow co-workers who had already reached the somewhat obvious conclusion before we had. The private smiles we exchanged as we 'played along' and fed into the facade of our unrequited love. The nervous fear that crept up the back of my neck as I finally found my courage to ask her out on an 'actual date'. The butterflies that erupted in a whoop of joy when she said 'yes' without even blinking.
The awkwardness of our first date - best friends, hopelessly in love and yet neither saying a word. The polite banter, the deep smiles...the gamble in the movies....the old 'arm trick' or not? That minute of panic of not being sure if I was doing the right thing...and that feeling of elation as she shifted her head and rested it on my shoulders and her eyes started up at me...bright and illuminated. And that moment. That perfect moment. That perfect kiss. And knowing that it was right but not knowing why...or where or when or how. Just the moment. The moment was all that that mattered.
"I love you," she said and that was it. It was the first time any girl had said that to me and it was perfect.
It's been 19 years since that first day and 14 years of being married to her, my best friend. Sometimes, especially when the cooler winds come and those gray autumn skies roll in, we still sit and hold hands and talk and listen and watch the world go by in shades of red and brown leaves.
And I'm thankful to the Almighty for bringing her into my life. And I'm grateful for my change. And I love her, a little more each day. Because she was 'the girl'. The only girl. And in the end, that was all that mattered.
Thats so beautiful Uzair
ReplyDeleteI miss and love you both so much. Happy that you found each other. I enjoy watching you both grow young together. If theres one thing i loved about farzana was that contagious giggle.
Aww thanks Wajiedah. We miss you as well. Definitely do visit again when you're down in CT. Yeah she still has the contagious giggle:-)
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