This is Forty: Commemorating four decades of successful human infiltration

"The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience"

 - Frank Herbert, Dune

A lot may be said and has been said of age, the passage of time and mortality. Let the records show that I for one am relatively pleased with my being placed on this third rock from the sun. It has been an eventful experience of constant assimilation, logical deduction, human interpretation, contemplative reasoning and trying to fathom the true meaning behind the tiny umbrellas in party drinks.

You humans are a jovial, albeit mystifying species. An amalgamation of tissue, blood, bone and toenails combined into a perfectly blended roast of varying color, sex, nationality, size and dimples. My oh my, those dimples. Take it from me, the Venusians have no say on dimples. Or freckles for that matter. Or redheads. Or derrières. You really out did yourselves there. Seriously...you've achieved wonders, built amazing things and progressed so far into the realms of technology and science that even those upper class Plutonians are starting to notice.

I suppose I could just leave it all there, end this and say "Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish" but I've been here for forty years now. Amazing how quickly time passes. But hey, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".

At forty, I suppose you're expected to do some deep reflection, find the meaning and purpose of existence and seek out your density (typo McFly!) But well, I dunno - Forty feels a lot less like forty. Sometimes it feels like 39, mostly it feels like 38 and at 3am it felt a little like 67 (insomnia is such a buzzkill). But, since I was...am...awake, figured I might as well crank open the creativity juice and blog.

I'm thinking. About what I would write if I was allowed to send this one single blog post back in time to my younger self, some 20 years ago. Don't ask me why or what madness drove me this thought. You're reading this which means, you're invested now and along for the ride.

What would you say to your 20 year younger self?

Would you give them a heads up about things to come, wars, catastrophes, birth, death, grief, joys, love, sorrow, the pandemic? I thought long and hard about it and other than a "please invest in Bitcoin" and a "hey, you looking good kid, keep fit and healthy", I wouldn't really say anything more.

Because to know the future is to be trapped by it.

Yes, that's another Frank Herbert quote. I would also tell myself to read Dune. The irony of it all would be that Paul's transcendence would then be mine...even without Spice or Arrakis. There's a lot more I wouldn't say as opposed to what I would say. I would prefer for myself to discover the future as a myriad of possibilities unshackled by prediction and certainty. So I guess, this is what I would say:

1. Don't carry the weight of the world

I get it. It's your habit. Cos you're wired that way, you're the eldest or the most responsible or the one that everyone looks up to or the go to person or whatever. So you tend to want to solve everything and everyone's problems. I mean hey, let's face it, you thrive on challenges. Solving problems is mathematically engineered into your genetic composition right? But here's the Jerry, Tom. You can't do everything, be everywhere, help everyone. So do what you can, help when you are able and know that it's okay. It's okay to stumble and fall too. It's okay to not always get things right and to relieve yourself of the burden that there's an 'expectation to always succeed' and no, not everything is a consequence of your actions. I'll say it again just so it really sinks in this time: Not everything is a consequence of your actions. Wars, tragedies, pandemics, illness, feuds - these will all happen, people and friends will come and go, beans will always be the musical fruit. Be okay with relinquishing the control.

2. Every little thing is gonna be alright

Feeling. It's hard escaping it. It's like Elven rope that burns us...oh it burns us! Feelings of worry, anxiety, panic, fear, guilt and remorse. What makes it all worse is that you have this boundless empathy for everyone and everything around you so the feels tend to stab you right in the jugular. All of these emotions are internal to you and also affect you physically. Stress, digestion issues, cramps, fatigue, headaches...the list is endless. Well, Doc, here's the Fudd: Your feeling everything is something you can't just switch off or switch on at leisure. It's inherently you. But you can choose how it affects you. I'm not saying don't feel. By all means, feel but don't keep it all bottled up. Don't let that turmoil brew and brew and spill over. It's okay to reach out every now and then and just speak to someone. Someone you can trust. Just know that it's going to be okay. No matter how dark it all seems, there is always hope, there is always light.

3. Fear is the mindkiller

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering. Well, you know the drill and I'm not entirely convinced Yoda got it 100% correct. Fear can lead to all sorts of other inner emotions besides anger and hey, I get it. You're afraid of failing, afraid of repercussions, afraid of losing out, afraid of losing friends, afraid of losing family, afraid of wasted chances, of wrong choices, of the darkness within the world and even afraid of dying. Well, here's the Solo on the Jabberwocky pal: Don't allow your fears to define you. Learn to let go of all that you stand to lose, learn to allow your fears to wash over you and give you strength, rather than weakness. Triumph over your fears by challenging them head on. Just...don't be reckless. Be sensible, listen to guidance and advice from people your trust and love. Don't let fear kill your mind. You're so much stronger than you know.

4. Laugh more often

Laugh at yourself, with yourself and with others. Laugh through memory, through time and through nostalgia. Smile, dance. Be Elmo and write your own song. Play that funky music. Paint, draw, create. Listen, touch, love and feel. Write, sing, build, play. Get up on that stage and do the karaoke or tell the joke. Be okay if things don't go as planned. God is the ultimate planner and in His design we have little say. Embrace that: not being in control. It's the mercy of God and that mercy is the most rewarding of all comforts. So hug your loved ones, your parents, your kids...laugh with them, at them and at yourself more.

5. Seek tranquility, not peace

Peace is overrated. Try to solve world peace and you're back to point 1 of carrying the world on your shoulders. So don't try and seek peace. Seek tranquility instead. Sakinah. That's the word for it in Arabic and it is a truly beautiful word. It's a form of contentment that we should all hope for and strive towards. It means all of the above: relinquishing control, overcoming worry, grief and anxiety and just being content. But here's the lamp Aladdin: If you want to seek true tranquility you need to seek true humility. Because only through being humble can you truly be tranquil. I'm not saying you shouldn't have things. By all means, have things or strive towards it and may you be blessed to always achieve of what is good for you. Have wealth, have a home, a steady and reputable career, have status if you seek it, fame, fortune...you can have all of this. But realize that having implies wanting and wanting more. It's the nature of man, sadly. We always want. I know this from experience. Why shouldn't I buy just one more D&D figurine??...this even after I've said I don't need any more. But, at some point, find your peace with what makes you truly happy and be content with not having it all. Give more, take less, be humble.

6. Be true to yourself

So what if you're a 40 year old grown man who still indulges in a childish hobby involving tiny plastic figurines and toys, pop culture, anime and geekery. If that's who you are and what defines then stay true to this version of yourself. And hey, Scooby, it's okay to switch mysteries and change it up a bit and redefine yourself as often as you like. And it's also okay if you don't know your true calling. I do hope you find it though. Some people do and they don't even realize they have. It's that thing that makes you the most..well..the most you when you or others think of you. Confusing yes..but trust me on that one too.

And there you have it. My post to my 20 year old self. 

The more I read and re-read this, the more I came to realize that this blog, despite my attempts at securing plutonium from the Afghans to build my flux capacitor, was never quite going to reach 20 year old me. But maybe, just maybe, it will reach 20 year old you. Or 41 year old me. Or someone who is quite comfortable with a good dark roasted coffee but also on board for the occasional earl grey. Or someone that just wants to figure out why are those damn tiny umbrellas in party drinks.